I Work Long Hours At Work As I Identify My Job Performance With My Self-Worth

Your worth isn’t defined by your working hours. It’s time to find balance and prioritize your well-being.

When I first started my job, I was excited. I wanted to prove myself and show everyone what I was capable of. At the time, working long hours didn’t seem like a big deal. It was just part of climbing the career ladder. I thought that the more effort I put in, the more results I would get. I felt proud of myself, and that pride slowly became tied to the amount of work I was doing.

At first, staying late at the office felt like the right thing to do. I told myself, “If I work harder than anyone else, it’ll pay off.” And it did, at least at first. I started getting praise from my boss, and I got promoted faster than some of my colleagues. But with that success came more expectations. Suddenly, my long working hours didn’t seem like something extra — they became the standard.

I began measuring my worth based on how well I performed at work. If I made a mistake or missed a deadline, it felt like I had failed as a person. It was no longer about just doing a good job; it was about proving to myself that I was valuable. The pressure to succeed kept growing, and so did my working hours.

As time went on, the excitement faded, replaced by exhaustion. I wasn’t just physically tired, but also mentally, I felt drained.

But I couldn’t stop. If I slowed down, it would feel like admitting defeat. I’d convinced myself that my worth depended on how much I could achieve. I didn’t realise it right away, but my personal life started to suffer. I missed gatherings with friends, family dinners, and even my own hobbies were neglected.

Eventually, the burnout hit hard. I remember one particular evening when I was the last one in the office, staring at my screen, unable to focus. I felt empty. No amount of success or recognition could make up for the exhaustion I was feeling.

That was the moment I realised something needed to change. I had to detach my self-worth from my job performance. I am more than just my work, and it took burning out to really understand that. It’s a hard habit to break, but I’m learning that working long hours isn’t a badge of honour—it’s a sign that I need to find balance.

Now, I’m focusing on setting boundaries and reminding myself that my value isn’t tied to how many hours I put in. It’s a slow process, but I’m starting to rebuild my life outside of work. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that overworking won’t fill the gap if you’re not taking care of yourself.

This article is part of TSS Confessions, a weekly column where we delve into personal finance topics that are unscripted and genuine real accounts from people.