I Feel Like I Might Step On A Landmine Every Time I Visit My Relatives During CNY

I always feel that I’m walking on thin ice every time I visit the relatives on my father’s side during Chinese New Year. I am also required to put on my best behaviour and not go rogue. 

We always have our reunion dinners at my uncle’s (my father’s oldest brother) place, along with my aunts and my paternal grandmother. Everyone would be laughing heartily around the table while enjoying their meals, but I know that it is just a facade.  

See the thing is, my father and his brother are bad-tempered people…a result of my irascible grandfather’s upbringing. They both have strong opinions, and once their opinions collide, they will raise their voices and argue right in front of everyone (the landmine explodes).  

I recall one year when they were arguing about where to host reunion dinner. My dad wanted to host it at a restaurant, but my uncle insisted it on having it at his house, given he is the eldest son and the head of the family. We ended up proceeding with my dad’s suggestion, but my uncle was clearly not happy throughout the entire meal and that made the mood super uncomfortable. 

Another time was when my uncle made a snide comment about my mom’s cooking which offended my dad. That was one of the most intense meals I have ever experienced. 

Reunion dinners should be a joyful occasion where the entire family would gather around once a year and update each other about their lives. But these events made me realise that even though family may be bonded by blood, it doesn’t guarantee that you will like each other.  

Egos also collide when everyone wants to show who has more money or can afford to host better. Because of these experiences, I resolve to focus on the true essence of family gatherings – the coming together of loved ones and not get caught up with all the comparisons. 

This article is part of TSS Confessions, a weekly column where we delve into personal finance topics that are unscripted and genuine real accounts from people.