Buy Now, Regret Later: My Love-Hate Relationship With BNPL

I can’t remember when I started using Buy Now Pay Later (BNPL), but now it feels almost impossible to stop.

At first, it seemed harmless. A pair of shoes, a skincare restock, a new phone case. “It’s fine,” I told myself, “I’ll pay it off on payday.” But then one app turned into two, two became four, and now I have more installments than I can keep track of.

The scary thing about BNPL is how easy it feels.

Three taps and it’s done. No pain, no guilt, no empty wallet (yet). It tricks your brain into thinking you’re spending smart, when really, you’re just delaying the regret.

Every time a payment reminder pops up, I swear I’ll stop. Then the next “0% interest” promo appears, and suddenly I’m scrolling again, not because I need anything, but because I crave that short burst of excitement that comes with buying. BNPL gives you the illusion of control. Like you’re managing your money, when in truth, your money is managing you.

These days, I dread opening my banking app near the end of the month. It’s exhausting, living from one due date to another. I want to break free, but quitting feels harder than I expected, because sometimes, spending is less about the stuff, and more about filling a feeling.

Lately, I’ve started small, deleting shopping apps, paying installments early, and asking myself, “Would I still buy this if I had to pay full price now?”

Sometimes I still give in. But at least now I know, this isn’t just a money problem. It’s a control problem. And I’m learning, slowly, how to take that control back, one conscious payment at a time.



This article is part of TSS Confessions, a weekly column where we delve into personal finance topics that are unscripted and genuine real accounts from people.