Confessions

I Got Tired Of Trying To Prove How Great My Relationship Is On Social Media

At first, I thought I was doing the right thing. I often took my girlfriend out on dates, surprised her with small gifts on special occasions, and would even buy her flowers just because. You know, simple things that felt natural in a relationship. She loved these gestures and would often post about them on her social media, talking about how lucky she was to have me. But lately, things have started to change. It started with mutual couples we knew but expanded to almost every couple she sees online. She talks about how they act, what they do for each other and how perfect they seem. From big anniversary surprises and trips together to lavish gifts. At first, they just felt like ordinary stories. But slowly, I began to feel like I was quietly being compared to all of it. I started wondering if maybe I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, I tried to do more. I planned nicer dinners, more surprises, and set aside more of my income so I could organise things that felt more “meaningful”. I thought that if I did enough, she would feel happy. But strangely, the more I tried, the more it felt like it still wasn’t enough. Slowly, the relationship began to feel different. I wasn’t just trying to make her happy anymore – I started feeling like I had something to prove. Every story she shared about our dinners, the gifts I gave her, and the trips we took together began to feel like a quiet evaluation of me. I started to feel like my value was being measured by what I could provide. Maybe she simply wanted to share moments she was happy about. But somewhere along the way, I began to feel like I had to make sure our relationship looked “good enough” from the outside. It really came to a head during our anniversary. I had prepared something that felt quite special to me. It wasn’t big, but I thought it meant something. But when the day came, I found myself hearing small comparisons again – how other couples celebrated, and what moments like this “usually” looked like. I felt like what I had done still wasn’t quite enough. That was when I started to feel tired. Not because I didn’t want to try, but because for the first time, it felt like my effort wasn’t really being seen. I also began to realise that I may have played a part in allowing this to happen. I’ve never told her how I felt – I just bottled it up while trying to keep up with expectations. We are still together, but I’ve started to wonder if what we’ve been chasing all this time is really our happiness, or just an idea of what a relationship is supposed to look like from the outside. This article is part of TSS Confessions, a weekly column where we delve into personal finance topics that are unscripted and genuine real accounts from people.